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This is a complete contiguous list of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. I have
amalgamated what I could find from the
tv series (
+) along with
the books written by
Ira Steven Behr and notes taken from the
DS9 Pocket Books series and the
Star Trek
Online game. Those sources are the source of everything listed below. Canonically,
there are 285 rules, and one 'unwritten rule', with several unofficial or unassigned
rules, all of which are included below the official list. As stated by wikipedia, the
first rule was made by Gint, the first Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliance, a role
with political, economic, and even quasi-religious duties. The Rules were said to be
divinely inspired and sacred (thus furthering the original marketing ploy). The
official canonical unabridged rulebook is fully annotated with all 47 commentaries,
all 900 major and minor judgements, and all 10,000 considered opinions.
Unknown rules are left blank to show how much is unknown.
OFFICIAL RULES
#1 Once you have their money, you never give it back.
#2 Money is everything.
[?]Apocryphal sources have conflicting rules
also stating rule #2 to be, "The best deal
is the one that brings the most profit."
#3 Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
[?]Apocryphal source also lists this as,
"I found it; it's mine."
#4 Sedition and treason are always profitable.
#5 Always exaggerate your estimates.
#6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
[?]The rule used to read, "Never allow family
to stand in the way of profit."
#7 Keep your ears open.
#8 Small print leads to large risk.
#9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
#10 Greed is eternal.
#11
#12
#13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
#14 Sometimes the quickest way to find profits is to let them find you.
#15 Dead men close no deals.
#16 A deal is a deal, until a better one comes along.
#17 A contract is a contract is a contract, but only between Ferengi.
#18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
#19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
#20 He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow.
#21 Never place friendship above profit.
#22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
#23 Nothing is more important than your health, except for your money.
#24
#25
#26
#27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
#28
#29 What's in it for me?
#30 Confidentiality equals profit.
#31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. Insult something he cares about instead.
#32
#33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
[?]Brent paraphrases this as, "It's never
too early to suck up to the boss."
#34 War is good for business.
[?]"Only from a distance, the closer to the
front lines, the less profitable it gets."
#35 Peace is good for business.
#36
#37 The early investor reaps the most interest.
#38
#39 Don't tell customers more than they need to know.
#40 She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
#41 Profit is its own reward.
#42
#43 Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it.
#44 Never confuse wisdom with luck.
#45 Expand or die.
[?]Intentional repeat of #95.
#46
#47 Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
#48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
#49
#50
#51
#52 Never ask when you can take.
[?]Also stated as,
"Why ask, when you can take?"
#53 Never trust anybody taller than you.
#54 Rate divided by time equals profit.
[?]Also known as the "Velocity of Wealth".
#55 Take joy from profit and profit from joy.
#56
#57 Good customers are as rare as latinum — treasure them.
#58 There is no substitute for success.
#59 Free advice is seldom cheap.
#60 Keep your lies consistent.
#61
#62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
#63 Work is the best therapy — at least for your employees.
#64
#65 Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
#66 Someone's always got bigger ears.
#67
#68 Risk doesn't always equal reward.
#69 Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
#70
#71 What's good for the boss is good for the worker.
[?]Rom didn't remember if this was the 71st
or the 81st rule.
#72
#73
#74 Knowledge equals profit.
#75 Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
#76 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
#77 If you break it, I'll charge you for it.
#78
#79 Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
#80
#81 What's good for the boss is good for the worker.
[?]Rom didn't remember if this was the 71st
or the 81st rule.
#82 The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
#83
#84
#85 Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
#86
#87 Learn the customer's weaknesses so you can better take advantage of them.
#88 Vengeance will cost you everything.
[?]Apocryphal source also lists this rule as,
"It ain't over 'til its over."
#89 Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
[?]Apocryphal source also lists this rule as,
"It is better to lose some profit and live
than lose all profit and die."
#90
#91
#92 There are many paths to profit.
#93
#94 Females and finances don't mix.
#95 Expand or die.
[?]Intentional repeat of #45.
#96
#97 Enough... is never enough.
#98 Every man has his price.
[?]Apocryphal source states this rule as, "If
you can't take it with you, don't go."
#99 Trust is the biggest liability of all.
#100 When it's good for business, tell the truth.
#101 Profit trumps emotion.
#102 Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
#103 Sleep can interfere with opportunity.
#104 Faith moves mountains, of inventory.
#105
#106 There is no honor in poverty.
#107
#108 Hope doesn't keep the lights on.
[?]Apocryphal source also lists this rule as,
"A woman wearing clothes is like a man
without any profits."
#109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
#110 Exploitation begins at home.
#111 Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them.
#112 Never have sex with the boss' sister.
#113 Always have sex with the boss.
#114
#115
#116
#117 You can't free a fish from water.
[?]Apocryphal instance of #217's note.
#118
#119
#120
#121 Everything is for sale, even friendship.
#122 Never sleep with the boss' sister.
[?]Possible duplication error from
canonical rule #112.
#123 Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
#124
#125 You can't make a deal if you're dead.
#126
#127
#128
#129
#130
#131
#132
#133
#134
#135 Listen to secrets, but never repeat them.
#136
#137
#138
#139 Wives serve, brothers inherit.
#140
#141 Only fools pay retail.
#142
#143
#144 There's nothing wrong with charity, as long as it winds up in your pocket.
#145
#146
#147 People love the bartender.
#148
#149
#150
#151 Even when you're a customer, sell yourself.
#152
#153 People will buy anything, especially junk.
[?]Apocryphal source also lists this as
"Sell the sizzle, not the steak."
#154
#155
#156
#157
#158
#159
#160
#161
#162 Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
[?]This was the first rule ever committed to
parchment by Gint, the first Grand Nagus.
He started at 162 to generate commercial
interest the first 161.
#163
#164
#165
#166
#167
#168 Whisper your way to success.
#169
#170
#171
#172
#173
#174
#175
#176
#177 Know your enemies, but do business with them always.
#178
#179
#180
#181 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
[?]Repeat of #188.
#182
#183 When life hands you ungaberries, make detergent.
#184 A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
#185
#186
#187
#188 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
[?]Repeat of #181.
#189 Let others keep their reputation. You keep their latinum.
#190 Hear all, trust nothing.
#191
#192 Never cheat a Klingon, unless you're sure you can get away with it.
#193 It's never too late to fire the staff.
[?]Apocryphal sources also list this rule as,
"Trouble comes in threes."
#194 It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your
door.
[?]This rule was actually only called "one of
the high numbers" by Quark; he only
thought it was rule 194.
#195
#196
#197
#198
#199 Location, location, location.
#200 A Ferengi chooses no side but his own.
#201
#202 The justification for profit is profit.
#203 New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but
sometimes they bite back.
#204
#205
#206
#207
#208 Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
#209
#210
#211 Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on
them.
#212 A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.
#213
#214 Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
#215
#216 Never gamble with a telepath.
#217 Always know what you're buying.
[?]Canonically this is #117's "You can't free
a fish from water."
#218 Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.
#219 Possession is eleven-tenths of the law.
#220
#221
#222
#223 Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
[?]Oo-mox is basically sex.
#224
#225
#226
#227 If that's what's written, then that's what's written.
#228
#229 Latinum lasts longer than lust.
#230
#231
#232
#233
#234
#235 Duck; death is tall.
#236 You can't buy fate.
#237
#238
#239 Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
#240 Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.
#241
#242 More is good, all is better.
#243 Always leave yourself an out.
#244
#245
#246
#247
#248 The definition of insanity is trying the same failed scheme and expecting
different results.
#249
#250
#251
#252
#253
#254
#255 A wife is a luxury, a smart accountant a necessity.
#256
#257 When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger.
#258
#259
#260
#261 A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
#262
#263 Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
#264
#265
#266 When in doubt, lie.
#267 If
you believe it,
they believe it.
#268
#269
#270
#271
#272 Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.
[?]Not quoted word for word.
#273
#274
#275
#276
#277
#278
#279
#280 If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
#281
#282
#283
#284 Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
#285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.
THE UNWRITTEN RULE
When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.
UNOFFICIAL RULES
#0 What the Nagus wants, we acquire.
#286 When Morn leaves, it's all over.
#287 Always get somebody else to do the lifting.
#288 Never get into anything that you can't get out of.
#290 An angry man is an enemy, and a satisfied man is an ally.
#291 The less employees know about the cash flow, the smaller the share they can
demand.
#292 Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.
#293 The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend.
#294 A bargain usually isn't.
#299 When you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way it's easier to
exploit them next time.
#303 The sheep want to be fleeced.
#305 Always be considerate.
#431 When the shooting starts, let the mercenaries handle it.
---- A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.
[?]It is known this is among the first 173
official rules, but not which one it is.
---- Discretion is the better part of valor.
[?]There is interesting debate around this
one taken from the DS9 episode The House
of Quark
---- Money is money, but females are better.
---- Good things come in small packages.
---- A distracted policeman is an opportunity.
---- Time is money.
[?]Not a real Rule; Quark considered it one
of the "few pieces of sound business
advice that he'd ever heard uttered by a
hew-mon."
---- You get what you pay for.
---- If they can't be bought, get ready to fight.
---- It's not smart to turn down a deal with the Grand Nagus.