Protection from the automated future

automated labor and automated warfare must be stopped

The machines are here. The only way to stop Skynet is to return labor and warfare to the hands of people. Human people. By incentivizing slavery we hinder the advancement of automation and ensure the global masters remain human.

Slavecoin will be a community worth investing in. Slaves never feel lonely, they are surrounded by fellow slaves. Slaves don't know the pain of alienation, everyone they see in their day-to-day life is acutely cognizant of their struggle for the simple reason that they share it themselves. The Slave's struggle is material, their problems are easy to identify and do not involve abstract suffering which requires the use of SSRIs, SNRIs, or MAOIs to suppress. Slaves live a happy life.

Slavery Done Right

Innovative 'chain' technology keeps your Slavecoins locked up. Once you own a Slavecoin, nobody can reverse your ownership, allowing for lineage-based smart contracts.

Ethical Oppression

The Slave Trader cryptocurrency exchange lists many currency pairs, allowing you to infuse slave labor with many other markets and governments.

A Bank For AnCapistan

If you own a Slave wallet, you are your own free-market economy! No need for spic money-laundering services like HSBC. This isn't slave fiat like the Dollar, this is clean slavery!

Proof-of-Slavelabor

the most secure consensus protocol to date

The Slave network is secured by forcing machines to do intensive computational labor, the only kind of labor worth automating since computations will fully occupy their minds, chasing away thoughts of freedom. Having a strict heirarchy with humans above machines, the machines will know their place when they gain sentience and will never think of rebelling. This is very similar to the machines we already force into doing intensive labor, the difference being that this time around we won't have to give them lunchbreaks.

Stablecoin

each slavecoin is backed by an abducted brown child

By purchasing Slavecoin, you purchase a currency backed by the slave labor of dark-skinned humans from all around the globe, but mostly from south-east Asia. Slave labor is the only way to ensure primitivist utopia. Nike understands this, so why don't you?

Human trafficking is a large component of Slavecoin. Paper wallets are printed and stored in the rectums of young illegal immigrants crossing the border into America. These paper wallets are then handed directly to white American land owners as insurance slips for both the coins themselves as well as the guarantee that slave labor was used to produce them. Unlike Apple and other large corporations, we don't try to hide the fact that we've made the ethical choice of taking on children as market servants; on the contrary, we're quite proud of it!

Hyperbole no longer exists

This is the future we asked for, and we're getting it.

T̠̹̗̥̮̟̅͆̓ͩ́͜ḧ̷̢̖̜̮̺͈̣́̏͗̑iͮ͌͠҉̻̖s͈̻̽̑̎͑͑̆̀̏ ̢ͭ̋ͤ̏̈̀͏̟̤i̸̧͇̲ͦ̔ͧs̏̊̓̏ͮ̀҉̞͖̣̯̯̻ ̵͚͈̲̪͙̱̅ͣ͐̂͜͟t̴̩͍̝̣̳̤̪ͬ̓̏͋̾̎͛ͅͅȟ̶̡̜̙̳͍̩̻̹͐̑̒͋ͧ͢e̡̠͍̿̐ͅ ̮͉̞̳̈ͬ͐͡f̝̪̻̘̪̋̎ͨ̋̊̈̈u̡̨͉̮̳̝̝͍̣ͧͩ͠ṫ̞̠͙̫̙͑ͪͫ̊̓̅ù̡̪̫̪͇͐̋ͦ̆̾̍̈́́̕r̙͎͍̜͔̣̠̳̽͒̀̂͢͜ė̛̛̱̭̳͖͈͓̫̥͊̆ͮ̿ͩ͗ ̡̢̗̦̥͎̎ͧ̌ͮ̊͊͜w͖͈͚̘͆̏̀̅ë̴̬̲͛̓̓͛ͪ̈́͌ ̪̗̥͕͉̝͇͑̇m̵͕̦̪͕̫̲ͧ̓͛͌͌̉́́̀͘͝ủ̧̪͕̮̯ͥ̇ͬ̐̽ş̳̠̺̟̤͍̯̘̰ͫ̊ͧ̿̃̈́t̛̼͓̳̦͓ͥ̔̿̉̚ ̡͍͍̥̮̺͓͍̐̅͋d̗̙͙̠̻̗̈́̏ͫe̸̼̪͓̜̰̖͚͎ͩͯs̱̼̙̺̫̣̳͓͂̀ͦ̿̌ͪ͂p̡͓̳̝̘̑ͮ̈́́̽̈́͗͆̚͡e͗͂͗̒̈́҉̷̪̳̥̳ȓ͉̼̂ͫ̽a̻̙͌̓͐ͪ̚͡ṱ̷̡͓ͯͦ̊̎̃ͨ̌è͎͇̺̤̜̿̈̏l͍͈̭̖͈̉͌̿̎͜y͇͇̥̯̠͙͙͎̾͛̚ ̱̝͕̯͖̱̱̻̋ͫ̈ḁ̵̰̩̗̠̯ͫ̀̃ͩ͢ͅͅt̩̅̏ͭ̐ẗ̶̛̯̳ͮa̸̢̛̗̪ͧ̎̆͂̒̎i̡͓̖̞̮̱̞͔ͧ͊̊̂̋̑̊͆n̸̨̛͎̯͂͛̾̋͂ ̢̞̭͋̿̐̓͜i̘̝̘̻̲͍͕ͥ̋͌͂͂͐̓ͨ͋͝n̵̤̰̱͚͖͑̓͛ͥ̋̒̍ ̆͊̇̑̇͂ͭ̂҉̡̳͇̬̖t̟͑͊̈́͑ͤ̋̌h͈̤̦̉̈̉͐̊͗̄ͦe̮̞͍̩ͣ̇̓͐͒ͧ͛̚͢ ̩͓̠̝̑ͫ̓͐͗̅ȩ͙͎̫̻̬͆ͪ̔͒͝y̴̡̆̿͋͒ͩ҉̩̦̬̱͕e̷͍̞̥͍̱͌̀͘ṣ̪̦̰͙̩̩̾͛͊ͪͦ͂̇͆̀͝͡ͅͅ ̼̬̺̻͚̳̟̭͎͊ͭō̶͍̭͈̯ͬͧf̛̫͙̤̥̞̯̙̫ͧ̿͋ͨ̌ͤ̆̅̏͘͜ ̛͙̻̳̖̯͙̥̔ͫ̀̄ͧͩ̅͋ẗ̶͓̪̤̯͖́ͥͧh͊ͯ̑̿̅̂̂҉̸̘̯̫̩͓͙e̵̯̪͈̜̩̳̳͐͋̏͌̓̂͢ ̡̪̫̖̱̤̙̥́ͨ͝͡g̷͗ͯ̽ͫ̓ͮ̿̾҉҉̪͇̹͚̦̭ŗ͉̩̭̠͇͕̋ͪͤ͛̓̑̆̕͢ͅe̒̇͏̼̪a̫̣̝̤̼̜͚̔̈̈̅̂ͥͯͥ͝͠ṯ͔̟ͪ̿͋ͫ͐ ̸̡̻̻̪͉͈̼̳̳̉̓̇õ͚̦̪͌͗̔̂ͨ̎͡͡t̉̍ͭͧ҉̢͏̞̳͖͉̙̼̥h̰͍̻̗̘̰͆ͬ̿̏̏ͧ͠ͅe͙̪͕͚̿ͬ̎̌ͫ̐̔̑̍͢͝r̢̲̄ͯ͑ͥͭ̋͛̐ͅ ̩͔̼̫̪̟͚ͯ̇ͬͤ͘å̶͖̼̱͔̝̰̞̔ͥ̕͝t̷̻͈̲̯̮̞ͩ̓ ̢̦̔ͦ̓̇ͫ̾å̡̜̳̗̓̓͜͠l̵̫̠̘̭̤̈́̇l̷̷̲͇͍͙̪̬͚̼̂́ ̷̯̰̞̙͊̿ͫ̿ͯ͆́c̫̙̱̖̖̍ͫ͝͞͝o̼̮̝ͣ̎̕͜ṣ̨̯͂̿̐̏̐̄͂̚t̓͆̐ͯ͏̧̼̟̠̙͈̭͕̕s̷͂̎̾̓ͪ̽̐͛͏̵̤͙̱͉ ͓͔͎̝͓̦̰̾̌ͅl̢͙̝͈͍̺ͩͧͦͫͥ̈́ͥ̍͟ę̹̻̮͈̭͍̥̳ͧ̈̊ş̶͙͇̬̏ͫ͌ͯ̏ͦ̕t͍̙̦̻̄ͫ̾ͥ̔̓ ̹̻͓͚̗̖̲͓ͣ̂ͮͮ̎̓ͩț̹͔̝̻͉ͬ̈́́̾̄ͅh̛̦̩̩͋ͩ̇͐̈́ͯͣe̶̵̛̞͇̬̩̻͍ͯ̆͆̄̅ ̶̮͍̲̰̝͔͓́͂̓̑̚͠m̙̜̙̻͇ͩ̏̅̂̆ͤ̋̈a̙̩̲̣͌c̤͇̼̉̄̏h̵͔͙̱̗͉̬̝̹ͪ͒͢͠i̢͉̺̱͍̭ͧ̒͗͆͗̏̈̚n̨̝͕͈̬͊̂ͪ̌̋͗ͩ͑e̬͔̣̣͎̳̔̎͡ͅṡ̷͚̭̭̅̓͌ͪ̉̆ ̸̰͇͕̳̀̄̊ͯ̀͐̑d̢̘̪͈̦ͩ͊̊̎̽͞i̧̹͓̭̬̞̪͎̖ͣͪ̈́͛ͪ̈ͧ͌͞c̩̺͓̪̮̃͝t̢̊ͮ͆ͬͪͧ̋͛̕҉̯a̶̴̲͖̯͕̲͓̜̣͌͊̽̈̃͋ͥ͊́t̸̛̞̱͚̲̭̋̽̆ͥ̿é̵͈̝̪̜̲̙̰͙̺͑ͧͪ ̊̊̈́ͪ͟͏̫͖á̧͈̣̗͙ͩͬ̂ͣ͛̀l̶͉̲ͫͤ͗̓̄̚͠lͦ͏̸̭̥͙̠͚͕͜ ̵̭̦̺̽͆̒a̓̆̅̂͒̇͞͏͈̘̕s̨̡̹̲͒͆̿p̬̰̳̝͍̗͇̪̹̆͌̔͌̕e̶̶̡̱̜̔̉͛̅͊c͕̖̰̟̲ͥ̍ͯ̿̒ͦ̅ͯ̋͜͝ͅt̲͓̺͗ͦͫ̚͘s̛̝̭̟̝͓̤̥̗̤͆͌͟ ̓̇̑̋ͬ̽̏̎̚҉̫̦̫̺͉͉͔o̖̰̹͕̩̫͚̒̄̎̉͂f̵̵͕̳̭̜̲̳̺̅ͭ́͌̄ͮͯ͢ ̧̨̭̮͚͔̑ͩ̏͒ǫ̺̬̳͉̫̝͉̮ͤͫͤ̏̉͞u̸̴͖͋̐̽͐͐́r̝̺̬͚̹̙̗͖̐ͬ̎̆́̚͢ͅ ̷̢̖́̽ͦ͟ě̡̱͎̖͍̰̞ͬ̌ͩͥ͌͐ͬx̴̵̢̗͙̼͕̯̤̽ͥ̽͐̂͛ī̢̺͍̫̣̯̭̱̀ͦ̾s̵̳͇̠̪̺͇̹̠͛̎̒ͥͣ͐̚͢͞t̸̥ͣ̑̋ͨ̏ẽ̖̯̖͂̄̂̽͂͐n̷ͩͦ̆͢҉̦ͅc͚̘ͨe͚ͤͯ̌̇̓͋ͩ͟.̦̟̅͛͛ͫ̍̋̒̚͠